My Story

I was recently on a retreat and in one of the classes the person spoke about how we each have our own stories inside our own minds – he took up this idea of holding different images in our mind which stop us from experiencing newness in a situation or interaction. He went onto say that when we speak to each other we are infact only telling each other our own stories and those stories are simply the things we’re attached to…whether it’s our ideas, what someone else should be doing, what we would like to do or what we have done. He ended saying that there might come a point when our stories will come to a closure and we won’t have any more stories to tell each other but there will only be silence – but a quality of silence that is filled with newness and power.

It has got me thinking as we all like to tell stories☺ I have some wonderful stories☺ but where do they take me…and you?

Letting go of telling these kind of ‘stories’ will enable me to be humble…just yesterday I heard that if you want to practice humility…speak less and let someone else be in the limelight…when speaking to another practice these two words ‘you’re right’…it’s a bit like just saying ‘yes’ instead of coming into unnecessary debate or disagreeing with the person before they’ve even started to explain. Which links into something else that I’ve been thinking about…if you want to serve at a time of need then put your opinions about others/a situation to one side.

Moral of the story 1

故事：
有一个人，经常与邻居发生争执，彼此之间嫌恶。有一天，这个人的牛丢失了，于是便怀疑是邻居偷了。他左想右想，越看邻居越像是偷牛的人。过了几天，牛居然自己跑回来了。于是他再看那位邻居，样子好像又不是偷牛的人了。

Story 1:
There were two neighbours who constantly fight and argue and this created negative feelings for one another. One day, one of the neighbour lost his cow. He instantly cast his suspicion on his neighbour whom he fought a lot. He pondered over this and the more he observed his neighbour, the more he saw the neighbour as a 'cow-thief'. A few days later, unexpectedly his cow returned home to him. After this incident, whenever he observed his neighbour, he begun to see his neighbour less of a 'cow-thief'.

寓意：
你也许从来没有丢失过牛，更没有偷过牛，但是，这个故事却告诉你两件非常重要的事：
第一，作为人，绝对不能心有成见。当你假设一个人会偷牛，越看他就越像偷牛的人，直到有一天牛回来了，他的嫌疑才会被洗清。
第二，不幸的是，在我们的一生中，常常会被人冤枉成为偷牛的人，但牛又永远不会自己回来，所有，就有可能一辈子会被人视为偷牛贼。
因此，每个人对自己都要有信心。如果你不是偷牛贼，即使别人硬说你是偷牛的，也不应该影响自己对整个世界的认识。

Moral of the story:
You probably never lost or stolen a cow before. However, this story is to remind us of two things in life i.e:

1. Never pass judgement about people. We see what we want to believe. If we want to see someone as a 'cow-thief', unless the cow return, we'll always see them as a 'cow-thief'.
2. During our lifespan, there might be times when we ourselves are judged as the 'cow-thief' by others and the cow might never return to prove our innocence. Therefore, develop such faith and trust in ourselves that as long as I didn't steal the cow, even if someone falsely accused me of stealing the cow, I'm not going to change my stand (i.e. principle/value).

Every little counts...

A friend whom I briefly met at university 10 years ago was in contact last month. We lost contact after his return to his home country. Both him and his wife have been tracking me down for a while. We weren't exactly close during our uni days but we hung out because we had mutual group of friends and one of my friends were his then-girlfriend-now-wife. So, it was one of those friendship which could have easily fizzled out with time.

Anyway, we met up last month for a cup of coffee and tried to compress our life story of the past 10 years in an hour. He shared news of his wife and his cute little son. During our conversation, he asked me whether I knew why he still remembered me after such a long time and I answered no. He went on to explain that I was the only one who called him and his wife when they left the UK for his home country and that left an impression on him. Funny thing is, on my side I had no recollection of this - I don't remember no phone calls or bidding them farewell before they left.

When thinking about this later on, I was amazed how something so small left such impact on him. So, our every little gesture - no matter how small they are will always leave an imprint in people's heart. One sincere act or thought goes a long way - it might even change the course of someone's life forever.