Mind the Gap!

My mind is like Clapham Junction sometimes! Different trains to different places and all dragging a long queue of carriages behind them.
If a train is to Brighton all the following carriages go to Brighton, right? It is the same with my thoughts I’ve recently realised.
Something unpleasant happens and that first carriage drags a long queue of following carriages with grey curtains along with it. These curtains don’t allow me to enjoy the scenes of life, as I can’t see them. Also it’s like a bullet train and is generally going backwards- to the past!
Surprisingly enough if something pleasant determines the starting thought then all the following thoughts are of the same quality. A first class train and with no curtains to block out the scenes outside, going slowly along you can enjoy the journey, and all this is happening without effort!
I have been taking the first train most of this life and it has left me discontent and discontentment has brought the same train back again and again. It is like being on a ring tour: same route, going nowhere different and coming back to where it started!!
- “Hey, you have got to do something about this feeling of exhaustion. At the end of the day it is you who choose which train to jump on.”
- “How do I become clear and attentive and stand on the right platform to catch the right train?”
I decided to keep a gratitude diary. To thank God -or whoever it was that was holding my hand when I was in trouble- for one thing every day from the heart so that I could see those first class trains and carriages more around me.
Guess what? I have been travelling mainly first class recently!

Monday Spiritual Joke #24

INSTALLING LOVE

Customer Service: Can you install Love?

Customer: I can do that. I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready to install now. What do I do first?

Service: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located your Heart?

Customer: Yes, I have, but there are several programs running right now. Is it okay to install while they are running?

Service: What programs are running?

Customer: Let me see� I have Pasthurt.exe, Lowesteem.exe, Grudge.exe and Resentment.com running right now.

Service: No problem. Love will automatically erase Pasthurt.exe from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory, but it will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will eventually overwrite Lowesteem.exe with a module of its own, called Highesteem.exe. However, you have to completely turn off Grudge.exe and Resentment.com. Those programs prevent Love from being properly installed. Can you turn those off?

Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

Service: My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and invoke Forgiveness.exe. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge.exe and Resentment.com have been completely erased.

Customer: Okay, I'm done. Love has started installing itself automatically. Is that normal?

Service: Yes it is. You should receive a message that says it will reinstall for the life of your Heart. Do you see that message?

Customer: Yes I do. Is it completely installed?

Service: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other Hearts to get the upgrades.

Customer: Oops� I have an error message already. What should I do?

Service: What does the message say?

Customer: It says "Error 412. Program not run on internal components." What does that mean?

Service: Don't worry, that's a common problem. It means that the Love program is set up to run on external Hearts but has not yet been running on your Heart. It is one of those complicated programming things, but in non-technical terms it means that you have to 'love' your own machine before it can 'love' others.

Customer: So what should I do?

Service: Can you find the directory called 'Self-acceptance'?

Customer: Yes, I have it.

Service: Excellent, you are getting good at this.

Customer: Thank you.

Service: You're welcome. Click on the following files and then copy them to the 'Myheart' directory: Forgiveself.doc, Selfesteem.txt, Realizeworth.txt and Goodness.doc. The system will overwrite conflicting files and begin patching any faulty programming. Also, you need to delete Selfcriticize.exe from all directories, and then empty your recycle bin afterwards to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.

Customer: Got it! Wow! My Heart is filling up with really neat files. Smile.mpg is playing on my monitor right now, and it shows that Warmth.com, Peace.exe and Contentment.com are copying themselves all over my Heart!

Service: Then Love is installed and running. You should be able to handle it from here. One more thing before I go�

Customer: Yes?

Service: Love is freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everybody you are meeting. They will in turn share it with other people, and they will return some really neat modules back to you.

Customer: I will. Thank you for your help.

Service: You're very welcome.

Write a letter to the true Santa Claus - try it!

I recently wrote a short letter to God, it was about my relationship with him and what I wanted for myself, (not on a physical level on a spiritual level). I noticed how much power it gave me and also how much power it has given me to act how I really want to act (to say goodbye to excuses!)

I was reflecting on my spirtual journey, and when I have the courage of our my convictions and share that with the One and only, I recieve a lot, I wanted to blog about this because its such a hidden source, when we become aware, life and our self awareness opens up to bring us closer to our potential - this has been my experience. My suggestion is try it and if you would like to share how you get on, I would be a very open and listening ear.

Crossed fingers or an open mind to learning?

I was thinking how most people believe that "everything will be alright in the end". I have held onto this belief all my life. Recently at a retreat in India I became aware of this belief and felt quite attached to it. Another thing that became very apparent whilst I was there was, how it is not just in the end that everything will be alright but that it can be all the time if I am open to embrace the opportunities coming my way. I had to ask myself, am I holding onto anything in this moment: an idea, a belief, a preconceived idea of the response the person I am speaking to will give - I noticed if I think like this that I miss out on the magic of life because I am trying to shape life rather than allow life to bring out the best in me and
give me its gifts along the way.

Could we all be ANGELS?

Not so long ago I drove to Oxford with a friend. On the way back, the traffic was moving smoothly and we were driving pretty fast. Whilst we were overtaking in the fast lane the front tyre punctured and burst into pieces. As I wasn’t sure what was happening I naturally started reducing speed and tried to get into the slow lane. However the traffic in the other lanes was already going much faster than us and they wouldn’t let me pull over. So we ended up having to stop in the fast lane on a major UK motorway- with the hazard lights on. It was quite scary being surrounded by cars passing us by at 90miles/hour.

Then, from nowhere a man appeared and volunteered to drive my car across the motorway. He managed to stop the traffic, move my car to the hard shoulder, get back into his car and disappear with the speed he appeared at in the first place, before we even had a chance to thank him. Incredible! We felt that some kind of an angel saw that we were in trouble, came with no introduction, helped us out of the trouble and left without a trace…(exactly what angels do!) … well, apart from my car having been safely parked on the edge of the motorway.

He could have easily driven by us in the same way as everyone else did… however he decided to behave like an angel and decided to help.

Can you imagine what the world would be like if we all decided to behave like angels right here and right now?

Monday Spiritual Joke #23

A priest, a minister and a guru sat discussing the best positions for prayer while a telephone repairman worked nearby. "Kneeling is definitely the best way to pray," the priest said.

"No," said the minister. "I get the best results standing with my hands outstretched to Heaven."

"You're both wrong," the guru said. "The most effective prayer position is lying down on the floor."

The repairman could contain himself no longer. "Hey, fellas," he interrupted, "The best prayin' I ever did was when I was hangin' upside down from a telephone pole."

Giving HAPPINESS

I have just come back from India. My time was packed with amazing experiences. One such sweet experience happened one day whilst I was having lunch when an Indian family (quite numerous) passed by our table.

Spotting my friend and I sitting at the table they asked us with a lot of enthusiasm if we would mind if they took their photo with us. I am not very much into being photographed, so in my mind my initial reaction was “Oh, not again!”. I mostly tend to agree to this kind of thing but not very willingly. My feelings must have shown on my face as it invoked a comment from the neighbouring table: “This is your opportunity to give happiness, are you going to miss it?” Within a fraction of a second my attitude turned around by 180 degrees. I immediately became enthusiastic about fulfilling their wish and "that" photograph is the evidence for it:-)! The father of the family thanked us and added: “We will remember this until the end of our lives”. I know it might sound over the top, but these were the exact words he spoke.

Very often we can make someone very happy with such little effort. I almost missed my opportunity, just because I don’t like being photographed. I am glad I didn’t miss it though and that was thanks to the person sitting at the neighbouring table. Thank you, I hope we meet again!

The Difference

I got up early one morning and
rushed into the day.
I had so much to accomplish,
I didn't have time to pray.

Problems just tumbled about me,
heavier came each task.
"Why doesn't God help me?" I wondered.
He answered, "You didn't ask."

I wanted to see joy and beauty, but
the day toiled on, gray and bleak.
I wondered why God didn't show me.
He said, "You didn't seek."

I tried to come into God's presence.
I used all my keys at the lock.
God gently and lovingly chided,
"My child, you didn't knock."

I woke up early this morning and
paused before entering the day.
I had so much to accomplish,
I had to take time to pray.

By A. Grant

Waiting at the Bus Stop...

The other morning - it was early, but for many it was the end of a long night out! - I was waiting at the bus stop to go to the meditation centre for morning class and there were these two teenagers, well they might even have been in their 20s...One was playing the wise one, he may even have been a bit older, and the other was completely rebelling against the system/the world. I think that both of them had had a few too many drinks but still were having a constructive conversation. The one rebelling looked like he was on his way to work and he was sharing with his friend about how he didn't care about work, and that for him he was there to do the work, get paid and leave and so it didn't matter if his wasn't clear in the mind. The undercurrent was that he felt that the world/system was corrupt and so he was consciously not buying into it. The wiser one suggested to him that there was another option, being that he could also enjoy work...He said: that if you're not clear in the head and 'don't care' how will you be able to offer something of value? I only caught about 5mins of the conversation before my bus came...the beauty of the conversation - even though it was very clear that neither one of them was willing to listen to the other - was how they were trying to express themselves and stand up for something which for them was their truth, and neither one was willing to compromise it.

I wanted to say just one thing to the rebel...'the world needs your clarity'...but the thought came too late - I was already sitting in the bus. I'm sure, in time, he'll come to the same conclusion himself...

Monday Spiritual Joke #22

A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, "Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish."

The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I want."The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that would honor and glorify me."

The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand my wife. I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says, "nothing's wrong" and how I can make a woman truly happy."

The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"

Go on - make your day!

I was walking in Central London yesterday and was running late for an appointment. Whilst standing at the traffic light waiting for the 'little green man' to alight, I saw a well-dressed elderly lady on the other side of the road who seemed a little lost. Many people hurrily walked pass her when she approached them including a tall gentleman who had his hand up to indicate he didn't have time for her. However, I continued to watch her maintain the same smile on her face unaffected by the responses of the people (that's what I call wisdom).

When the 'little green man' came alight, I started crossing the road and met her at the side of the road. Our eyes met and there was no way I could have pretended not to see her. She then asked me with a warm and gentle voice whether I knew the way to British Museum. I explained briefly to her how to get there and the roads she needed to look out for. She then thanked me and I felt such genuine gratefulness in her voice. She made my day. As it turned out, the person whom I was meeting was running late anyway. At least I had a good excuse for being late.

Sometimes I feel I get so caught up in my own affairs and wrapped up in my own little world that I become self-centred, which eventually stops my 'heart' from growing and sharing. So, why can't we stop for a few moments to say hi and acknowledge another human being with a genuine smile - wouldn't it make your day?

Monday Spiritual Joke #21

Patient: My irregular heartbeat is really frightening me.
Doctor: Don't worry, we'll put a stop to it.

Traveling Home

I have just come back from traveling extensively. To travel is always nice. In a way, it served to bring me back home inside, to touch base with who I really am, as my normal reference points were not there. So that was beautiful and allowed me to have many insights. One of them, the most practical of all, was that:

-- I only have 25 days holiday per year
-- one year has 365 days

I can not afford to find inner beauty only on 25 out of 365 days of the year… which means that I need to create some newness and forge ‘inner trips’ whilst sitting here in my office. To find ‘food for thought’ and train my eyes to see the magic of everyday life. To be a guest, a constant traveler… one who is not attached to anything and yet appreciates everything – and has FUN with it all!

Awakening

A few days ago I visited a friend who lives outside of london - it's amazing how people who have had many experiences, look to be living the high life tend to lose the sense of simplicity and appreciation - the ego is much more at the forefront. In comparison my friend...she is from an older generation, illiterate and her appreciation of everything was quite mind blowing. We were reflecting on life and at one point I asked the question 'how often do we have a thought that we've never had before?...my friends eyes opened up wide like a childs' and very enthusiastically said 'I have - right now!' I asked what it was and she said ' where is the mind?' Amazing I thought...it was because of appreciation, an open mind and a willingness to learn that this thought came to her for the first time. I thought: this is what awakening is...it's when the ego falls...how often do we dare to ask the questions that could shift our reality?...she was and it was beautiful to witness.

Reading Faces

On two occasions within this past week - whilst chatting with people... judging by their expressions I was convinced that I knew what was going on in their minds...but I was completely wrong. On both occasions I was convinced that their expressions were negative but in fact their experiences were overwhelmingly positive. How could I be so wrong in my judgement? It's happening to me more frequently these days that I scan someone's face or I hold a certain impression and find I am thinking 'are they listening', 'is what I am saying making sense to them ', or 'they really aren't interested'...these thoughts come like flashes into my mind but they influence both my experience as well as my responses to them...It's along the same lines as I was sharing in the 'Success Ruler' blog, where I found myself judging too quickly...it's as though my whole perception is focused outside rather than inside. Is there a time and place to read faces...or should we just get on with the job and simply play our part with 100% confidence? Part of me is convinced that even in a business deal if I maintain my confidence and trust myself - others will adjust to my state of mind (facial expressions!!!) instead of the other way around.

Monday Spiritual Joke #20

A father was approached by his small son, who told him proudly, "I know what the Bible means!"
His father smiled and replied, "What do you mean, you 'know' what the Bible means?"

The son replied, "I do know!"

"Okay," said his father. "So, son, what does the Bible mean?"

"That's easy, Daddy. It stands for 'Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth.'"

to be PREDICTABLE

I recently heard that if there is fear inside of you, it's a sign of some form of dishonesty. Just recently I've been discovering the relationship between the two.

I am lucky as I spend each morning at a meditation centre and so all those who are there - even the atmosphere itself- very quickly become a mirror for what needs changing inside. Related to fear and dishonesty a few years ago, on one of my first trips to a retreat centre in India, one of the meditation teachers shared that fear is connected to ego and the need to 'take' from an individual or situation, it's in fact a selfish motive. This was a very liberating idea for me at the time because when you are in the experience of 'fear' you feel a victim and that it is the other person who is making you feel vulnerable, but the fear in fact is self-created. I realised that the cleaner one becomes, the fuller one feels inside...as the more ego falls and humility grows and I can begin to live life free from the subtle fears that often stop us from being who we are. I realised that I needed to work deeply on myself - I need to create that level of honesty inside that makes me clean and clear...transparent. For this I need to start today and check...is there that much integrity and cleanliness inside that whatever I think...is the same as I what I say...is the same as what I do?

Oftentimes to be too predictable is considered to be ordinary but I'm starting to like this idea of being predictable...so that those who know me can guess what I would think/say/do.

Fear, dishonesty, selfishness - these are the things that make us unpredictable not only to others but to ourselves also.

TRUST - a new perspective

Trust - is the word that has been echoing in my mind for the last few days.

I am beginning to think Trust is a gorgeous word - look how beautiful it is.

I was reflecting on my relationship with this word and how it's beginning to
change. Sometimes it's easy to trust. If we are feeling good inside it's easy and
difficult if there is resistance. Here's a new perspective on TRUST:

The T makes you strong like a tree
The R takes you on an interesting journey
The U is a place to rest, inside
The S lets you flow like a river
The T makes you an embodiment of strength

Relationships at Work

Today I had a call from a colleague - Alex - who is currently experiencing pressure at work and now in addition I was imposing more. On listening to her I could hear Alex's frustrations bubbling away. From my perspective it wasn't a big change, from her perspective it was a big deal (and I was a possible scape goat). I could appreciate where she was coming from having been in similar situations. I empathised with her, "I can appreciate how you are feeling." I wasn't just saying it, I could. I have felt like that, it was from the heart. However, I needed to share the details and reasons for the situation that were not being considered by Alex. I could see as an observer that the change externally was just emphasising what needed to change inside her. Any stress we experience is a messenger to change something inside ourselves.

I reflected, everyday we have so much to learn from each other and from ourselves. My lesson was to be the listener, to be understanding, loving and open. It was also to be ultimately firm and to not let myself be affected by the frustrations that were being aired. My part was to be someone who could empathise, offer solutions and different perspectives. Ultimately it was not me though who could not make the change for her to feel better about the situation, only Alex has that right.

Monday Spiritual Joke #19

A Recently Spotted Bumper Sticker:

Witches' parking only. All others will be toad.