Friday, September 28, 2007

finding my Space


I really enjoyed the blog by Mo “a nice way to live”. It’s something that I’ve been giving some thought to recently. We’re here in the world bobbing along, and we all want to live in a happier and more peaceful way right? It’s as if there is a perfect fit between us all, where there is love, respect and harmony – sometimes I’m there sometimes I’m not, it feels like it’s something to do with knowing my place. When we just look at our own lives and step away from the world at large, we can see in our day to day living when we do experience being in tune with others, and in the moment. We sometimes see this when the pressure is off or at extreme moments in life where we “do the right thing” without even thinking about it. I was asking myself apart from meditating every day and being aware of myself as spiritual being, that has an eternal and unique connection with the Source how can I really begin to learn what my unique specialities (gifts) are, and begin to understand exactly what I have been given. The feeling I get sometimes is that I have just gone a bit wayward, and it’s this that distorts my reality and causes the turbulence every now and then.

When I stood back a few question came to mind, where does my happiness come from, and what do I really think is my purpose at this time? (I have been asking this for a long time now and it feels as if it is starting to unravel, I feel like I know it at a high level I just want to connect more to it)

In this game of life, it could be said that we are creating our lives as we speak, through our thoughts and actions and we are then responding to that creation (1st cause and then effect). I was thinking to myself my value and happiness is not in the “final product” like doing a task well, or even helping someone out. My value is in the response if I choose to put my value into my responses. It has really made me think about what is my speciality is and how in a way it is my greatest weakness. My part is so different to everyone else’s just as your's is. So if we never compare ourselves (to the good or bad in others) and their final products or their responses, I can be happy, and be happy to facilitate bringing the best out in everyone and their specialities. A bit like a great, Mum. A great Mum has the heart to always see the best in her kids even if they are playing up a bit, because they belong to her. I need make this more tangible it’s been at the crux of my spiritual development for sometime now. Thinking in this way and putting the value on myself in this way does make me feel like I could let go of old weaknesses and begin to be in harmony more, be more respectful of myself and others, more real. I don’t have to be great at anything particularly, I think that’s someone else’s job (Don’t tell my boss I said that). Years ago I came across a really nice definition of what it means to have Good wishes. “My heart is filled with recognition of the value of others. I feel I want them to do well and be successful. The success of others is really my success”. It makes you think hey?

I need to give this some more thought, for now it feels like I’m on the right track…. Let’s see what the week brings. I’ll keep this with me and give it some thought each day.

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