On two occasions within this past week - whilst chatting with people... judging by their expressions I was convinced that I knew what was going on in their minds...but I was completely wrong. On both occasions I was convinced that their expressions were negative but in fact their experiences were overwhelmingly positive. How could I be so wrong in my judgement? It's happening to me more frequently these days that I scan someone's face or I hold a certain impression and find I am thinking 'are they listening', 'is what I am saying making sense to them ', or 'they really aren't interested'...these thoughts come like flashes into my mind but they influence both my experience as well as my responses to them...It's along the same lines as I was sharing in the 'Success Ruler' blog, where I found myself judging too quickly...it's as though my whole perception is focused outside rather than inside. Is there a time and place to read faces...or should we just get on with the job and simply play our part with 100% confidence? Part of me is convinced that even in a business deal if I maintain my confidence and trust myself - others will adjust to my state of mind (facial expressions!!!) instead of the other way around.
Thursday, November 02, 2006
Reading Faces
On two occasions within this past week - whilst chatting with people... judging by their expressions I was convinced that I knew what was going on in their minds...but I was completely wrong. On both occasions I was convinced that their expressions were negative but in fact their experiences were overwhelmingly positive. How could I be so wrong in my judgement? It's happening to me more frequently these days that I scan someone's face or I hold a certain impression and find I am thinking 'are they listening', 'is what I am saying making sense to them ', or 'they really aren't interested'...these thoughts come like flashes into my mind but they influence both my experience as well as my responses to them...It's along the same lines as I was sharing in the 'Success Ruler' blog, where I found myself judging too quickly...it's as though my whole perception is focused outside rather than inside. Is there a time and place to read faces...or should we just get on with the job and simply play our part with 100% confidence? Part of me is convinced that even in a business deal if I maintain my confidence and trust myself - others will adjust to my state of mind (facial expressions!!!) instead of the other way around.
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Maybe part of the trouble is that not all of us express ourselves very well on our faces. I keep forgetting to smile(!) so I generally come across better on the telephone. I was listening to some CDs by Peter Thomson (The Best Kept Secrets of Great Communicators) in which he talks about the little pink fleshy bit in the inside corner of the eye. Apparently if this is invisible, then whoever you're talking to is not very convinced by what you're saying. He says to only try to "clinch a deal" when you can see the pink bit in the other person's eyes! I've no idea if this works or not because I keep forgetting about it, but maybe it's more reliable than the general facial expression.
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