Tuesday, February 21, 2006

I am.

Qazom-spiritual student checking into Blog world. I have been enjoying everyone's pearls from the week - this is a really cool way of sharing. Was really interested to join in this blog and it has brought to me a greater sense of reflection on the very small events that happen each day, thanks for that. Something I am working with, as BOL mentioned, is building a distance from the role I am playing, building an awareness of being rather than doing.

A Gem from the week!

I am working with a practise of looking back at each day - and also during the day when I can- to see what worked and why it worked. The thoughts that came were really very simple here. This situation is an example. We had a very big event at work--- high profile for the department etc, everyone's stress levels edging upwards!... After my class in the morning I made a determined decision: I'm not going to go in that direction, no matter what happens... The thought in my mind was: I need to be aware of how I am being / what am I sharing at all times. A little later in the day when I could take some time for proper reflection and look back at the day to see how it had gone I considered, what was it that helped me and the situation remain stable when we discovered that the course materials hadn't shown up. The other person -the presenter- was very upset with me (note - I'm the organiser of the event!) At that time the feelings that flowed from me to the presenter were - calmness, love, understanding and an echo of the thought I am not going there with you. I just said: we'll find them, they'll show up, I'll look into it. Then by contrast as soon as I became aware of the role I was playing, of what 'I' had to do, i.e. find the box of materials, the emotions changed in me and as if by magic the qualities vanished. Then when I asked myself the question: how am I going to be? -the qualities like companions appeared back in my mind.....

The materials did turn up 45 mins later.

Today I received an apology from 'the presenter', the person who was upset with me 'the event organiser'.

Moral of the story for me: play the part - be my best - I am not the part I play.

1 comment:

Yogi Bear said...

hey hey - way to go Kazom - another victory on the "battlefield"!