Today I had a call from a colleague - Alex - who is currently experiencing pressure at work and now in addition I was imposing more. On listening to her I could hear Alex's frustrations bubbling away. From my perspective it wasn't a big change, from her perspective it was a big deal (and I was a possible scape goat). I could appreciate where she was coming from having been in similar situations. I empathised with her, "I can appreciate how you are feeling." I wasn't just saying it, I could. I have felt like that, it was from the heart. However, I needed to share the details and reasons for the situation that were not being considered by Alex. I could see as an observer that the change externally was just emphasising what needed to change inside her. Any stress we experience is a messenger to change something inside ourselves.I reflected, everyday we have so much to learn from each other and from ourselves. My lesson was to be the listener, to be understanding, loving and open. It was also to be ultimately firm and to not let myself be affected by the frustrations that were being aired. My part was to be someone who could empathise, offer solutions and different perspectives. Ultimately it was not me though who could not make the change for her to feel better about the situation, only Alex has that right.
1 comment:
Interesting how things work out? I had a call from Alex today - to say she wanted to apologise for being "snappy". She sounded so much better, it was a special moment for me to, seeing what happens when you don't take on board someone elses stress it gives them a clean mirror, so they can see what they need to do.
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