In Prison

I am working for a charity which in turn works with other charities. Two days ago I visited a prison to see a project, where prison inmates can join and train to become qualified counsellors to other inmates in issues such as: drug abuse, housing problems, life out of prison, getting training, moving on…

Shamefully when I first went I was very cautious, this being my first time in a prison, and a little weary of what I would find. I was suspicious of the prisoners, I was afraid of them: it was almost as if they were not human in the way I was thinking about them! When we started talking though, I discovered that by being part of something worthwhile they had regained a sense of self-worth, and that by enabling others to change, by pointing other inmates in a positive direction, they had some sense of fulfilment. By giving, they got back: they felt a sense of being of value, they felt good about themselves maybe for the first time in their lives! In fact, more than any qualification they had received this is what enabled them to move on, to get off drugs and to have hope. One of the guys told me: ‘My solicitor told me I was going to be free after my judgement and instead I got sentenced to life. I thought of killing myself. Now I have hope, I can dream of a future, somewhere, at some time…’. Knowing they had performed wrong actions these people were grasping at the only small chance they had to get out of the vicious circle of habitual actions and past conditioning, and to go beyond what had happened, to forgive and to forget – themselves to begin with.

It is easy to think we are free when we are not locked away behind prison walls. It is easy to soak all the prejudices society subtly (or not so subtly) communicates to us and become a judge of others – be they in prison or in the office next door. On my way home, I reflected on the many prisons I allow myself to get into: the prisons of habit, the prisons of prejudice, of negative feelings, of wasteful thinking, of not accepting others and myself, of holding on to the past: they too refletc a lack of self-worth, of self-respect and of the very determination these prisoners have so much inspired me to have! “If you love yourself, start by setting yourself free!”