Tuesday, June 06, 2006

My bus journey...

My car has been in the garage for almost two weeks now and I am reliant on public transport to get to and from work, usually I drive. I have chosen to take the bus instead of the tube because I find the bus journey is a lot more entertaining - I get to look at the architecture of the buildings and at the billboards I miss whilst driving.

One thing I have definitely noticed on the bus is the people I travel with, they are almost the same ones every day. For the past two weeks I have met the same people at the same bus stop, all of us catching the same bus at the same time and sitting in the same seats. Now I even note that the guy with the brown coat and shiny shoes was not on the bus last Tuesday, and that the lady with long black hair and a big red bag was not at the stop this morning. I don't know what goes through other people's heads... I like to observe the behavioural patterns of people as this helps me make sense of my world and their worlds though.

I thought that I would try something new on the bus today. I picked my subject carefully, the old lady who has been sitting opposite to me for a couple of days now and with whom I have made eye contact several times. As I boarded the bus I smiled at her and said: good morning. I thought it would be safe to choose someone older and the same gender as myself, as I did not want to give any one the wrong impression.

Her reaction however was not one that I had anticipated. She was dumbfounded - it was as if she had received a shock to her system, and she avoided eye contact with me for the rest of the journey and on all journeys there after.

I wonder how she would have reacted if I had bemoaned the weather?

It seems as if we are more immune to misery, depression and violence coming our way from others than to a genuine smile. Is it so difficult for us to accept and return a smile, to share good wishes? We have built so many barriers and walls to protect ourselves from being hurt, however this has also resulted in those good feelings for ourselves and for others also being imprisoned behind those walls. It is important not to be vulnerable to situations and people, but is it not equally important to be part of the world? Should the question not be 'What can I give?' instead of 'What can I take?'. There are so many 'takers' and too few 'givers'. The more I take, the smaller my heart shrinks. The more I give, the bigger my heart grows. So, let me keep smiling for my sake and for the sake of the world.

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